


Catharsis

by tidewater



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, But Jay and Tim are vibing, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Protectiveness, Survivor Guilt, The others are still dead so, Trauma, a little fluff, ngl they are very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26863531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tidewater/pseuds/tidewater
Summary: Tim has a nightmare about his past. His boyfriend Jay comforts him.I made this fic for a friend, and I hope you all enjoy!
Relationships: Jay Merrick/Timothy "Tim" Wright | Masky
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Catharsis

Tim woke with a scream. Droplets of sweat clung to his forehead and neck; his frantic eyes scanned the pitch-black room in terror. It was the first time this had happened in months. He had thought (and prayed) those days were over. 

His nightmare came back to him in fragments: dark corridors, deep forests, distortion. He was running towards someone — or was it away from someone? Visions of people long dead flashed before him before tendrils of shadows consumed them. Then he saw It. At the end of each hallway, around every tree, behind everyone he loved — commanding him, enveloping him, and destroying him. And he was wearing the mask. In those dreams, he always wore the mask.

It had been two years since it all ended. Everyone who had come under Its influence had died— everyone except for him. Seth, Brian, Alex — he could see each face before his eyes. He was the sole survivor, the proxy who had gotten away. That guilt never went away. It haunted him, gnawing at the bottom of his stomach, eating away at his brain as he tried to forge a new life. The idea that one day he could truly move on became harder to believe with each daily intrusive thought. He never expressed to his partner how often his mind drifted back towards those corridors and forests. 

In fact, Jay was the only thing that didn’t remind him of the past.

Jay. He was at the center of it all — his anxieties, his passion, his will, his life. Tim stopped caring about his own survival a long time ago. But Jay— protecting Jay was the reason he fought to stay alive. Jay had saved him, had taken off the mask Tim could not escape from. Jay was his redemption. The thought of any harm coming to him terrified him in a way that that  _ thing _ never could.

Jay opened his wide eyes in surprise. Even in near darkness, they held a soft glimmer. As he realized what had happened, concern set over his face. 

“Tim, are you okay?” he said worriedly. Jay quickly turned on his phone’s flashlight to inspect the room.

“Yeah,” Tim responded, “it was just a dream.” 

Jay exhaled in relief, flicking off his phone’s piercing light. Neither of them had seen It since that day, of course. But neither of them had ruled out the possibility of Its return. 

Every few days, a voice spoke in Tim’s mind, saying the same words over and over again. Mangled, blood-spattered words Tim could never unhear: “This isn’t over. You see how It spreads. If there’s someone left, you have to kill them.” On that day, and everyday since, he defied that command. He believed they could break the cycle of hatred and murder that followed in Its wake — that their love could outshine their fear.

But that night, his fear eclipsed his faith.

“I’m sorry,” Jay said softly.

Tim breathed sharply.

“Why are you apologizing? I am the one who woke you up.” His voice was jagged with remorse, cutting into himself and his partner. 

Jay receded. In an instant Tim realized what he had said.

“I-I’m sorry—” he quickly added, “I just—”

Jay looked into Tim’s eyes as they filled with tears.

“I keep dragging you back into this,” Tim exclaimed. His fear, long suppressed, poured out of him like a flood.

“I was the one that kidnapped you, that stalked you and scared you over and over again. I brought you closer to It and endangered you,” Tim’s words rushed out in a fervor, “ _ I was the one It targeted first _ . Everyone died  _ because _ of me. And you, above everyone else, deserved none of it. Jesus Christ, you were shot! It was a miracle you even survived! Every moment I stay with you you are in danger. If I wasn’t here, you’d be safe. You’d be free.” 

Tim closed his eyes tight and sighed. A tear ran down his cheek. Silence once again filled the room, only broken by Tim’s short breaths.

Jay often had trouble expressing everything he felt out loud — especially when under stress. He wasn’t very good at verbally comforting Tim in times like this; his sentences stumbled awkwardly into the air when he tried to speak. Yet, he needed to show him the love he felt — the ball of warmth in his heart, the joy created in his presence. He couldn’t fit all those thoughts neatly into words. So, before Tim could speak, Jay embraced him. 

Instantly Tim’s fears shattered. The chasm of his anxiety closed at his caress.

Jay held his partner tight. He brushed his face past his, feeling the rough texture of his sideburn on his smooth cheek. Tim’s face was hot with blush. Jay could feel the tension within his boyfriend loosen. Tim returned the hug, resting his weary head on Jay’s shoulders. Pushing past hurt and sorrow, Jay spoke.

“I still think about It too. You’re not alone.”

Tim began to cry. Jay held him tighter, filling the gap left by his escaping grief. He had never cried so badly in front of him. Sure, they had seen each other cry before. Though Tim was the one comforting Jay. It was always Tim protecting Jay, being his guardian. Now Tim needed Jay’s protection.

Jay held him tighter, as if he was physically holding his partner together. Tim fell into Jay’s comfort. Every dark thought, every moment of sadness, every drop of anxiety he had been hoarding within him poured out in sobs. Tim wanted it to stop; he didn’t want to break in front of Jay. But, at this moment, there was nothing else he could do. Jay had broken down every cage he built to contain his fear. Jay had unmasked him yet again.

As Tim wept, Jay began tracing circles across his back, back and forth. This was something Tim did to him when he cried to calm him down, and it always worked. His finger ran from the bluejay tattoo on his upper shoulder down to the stretch marks near his hips. He felt every mark and scar. His architecture, every detail of his frame — Jay adored every bit. 

Eventually, Tim’s cries softened and petered out. Jay continued to run his hand around his back. Tim still rested his head upon Jay’s shoulder. Jay felt his tear-damp cheek against his exposed shoulder. They were left, embracing each other in the dark.

The darkness. Tim and Jay spent years running from it. Every shadow seemed to hide Its silhouette. They hated how It had robbed them of the beauty of the night sky, the coziness of a dim room, and the comfort of an embrace within the shadows. It’s darkness was so cold, so empty, so terrifying. But, darkness can be more. Darkness can be safety, comfort, and honesty — a warm space without the harsh exposure of light. 

In this moment, together in the dark, there was no fear. There was only serenity.

“Thank you,” Tim spoke meekly, “I could never thank you enough”


End file.
